Canis Terribilis

Just last week a new friend of mine, a hardened bicycle tourist, offered me a can of Halt to carry along on my trip. It's just pepper spray, but it's got a picture of a dog on it instead of the usual man with a sock over his head. It claims to be the #1 dog deterrent used by the postal service.

Now I don't have a problem spraying animals with pepper spray. I even sprayed my sister when she was 12. ("Hey, Kim, you hold this napkin up on that side of the room, and I'll spray this stuff at it like a target. It'll be fun.") However, if I'm on a bike and I'm fast, is there really any reason to spray a mean dog in the face with this stuff? Can't I just outrun him? Can't I Dog Whisper him into passivity?

I don't have an answer to those questions. I do have a story:

About a year ago I was riding home along the main north-south trail in town. It was dark, and there were no people around. I was passing through an area that was somewhat wooded. I had just turned a corner on the trail when a giant four-footed black creature moved out of the trees and onto the trail beside me. It was so big that my mind immediately said "bear." More specifically "grizzly bear." I was looking up at it. And it appeared literally beside me. My light didn't do any good, it was shining forward. And anyway, I wasn't thinking about figuring out what exactly it was at that point. I knew it was interested in my thighs. So I sprinted. I remember taking 3 pedal strokes, and then I was going 30mph. I just barely swerved in time to avoid a fence at the next turn in the trail. Finally I looked back and saw that it was a little smaller than I had first thought. Okay, a lot smaller. It was clearly a dog. But it was chasing me at full gallop. I pedaled anaerobically for another quarter mile and lost him.

This little fellow may have just wanted a late night companion to play fetch with, or he may after all have been interested in my thighs. But whatever the situation, the point of the story is that I could have hit the fence. Or I could have been exhausted at the end of an 80mi day. Or it could have been a grizzly bear. Seriously, it could have. So carrying this little can of pepper spray might make the difference. Or maybe the point of the story is that my mind doesn't actually work when it's scared. In which case, I might end up Halt-ing grandma if I carry that stuff around. Grandma, someone has to make a sacrifice.